Blessed for Obeying Leaders, Even When They Are Wrong
Student – I understand that we begin to become accountable as children and that our accountability increases throughout our lives. But what is required for us to be accountable? How do I know if I am accountable for something?
Teacher – This is a very important question. Many people misunderstand accountability and agency and so feel guilt for things that they did not have control over. In extreme cases, this can destroy their lives.
We become accountable over small things first and then bigger things. It is part of the natural development process. There is a minimum requirement we must meet before we are or can be accountable for our actions.
What do you think would make you accountable?
Student – Well, I suppose that if I was told to do or not to do something that I would be accountable.
Teacher – If your parents or leaders told you not to do something, how do you know if it was right or not?
Student – I guess I would trust them and believe that they were telling me what was right.
Teacher – And if they were wrong does that make you accountable to do something that was wrong?
Student – uh, I don’t think so…But if I do what I am told won’t I be blessed and the sin will be on the head of my leader?
Teacher – This is a side tangent to discussing the requirements for true accountability, but one worth taking, so let’s discuss obeying our leaders…
Teacher – What you said is that if your leader tells you to do something you are required to do it. If it is wrong, then you will be blessed and the sin will be on the head of your leader. Is that correct?
Student – Yes
Teacher – This sounds nice on the surface, but when you look at it closely and put it into practice you will find that this is far from accurate. The easiest way to see this is by using some extremes which are not realistic, but show you the point. Here is an example:
Let’s say that a leader told you to do something bad, for example, if a leader told you to kill someone. And you believed that by obeying the leader you would be blessed and the sin would be on their head. What would you do?
Student – I guess I would kill whomever they wanted me to kill.
Teacher – If you killed someone and were caught, what would happen?
Student – If I got caught I would probably go to jail.
Teacher – What would happen to your leader that told you to do it?
Student – I don’t know? Maybe nothing or maybe he would be an accomplice go to jail too…
Teacher – And if the leader told you not to rat him out, and you said to yourself, “I will be blessed for obeying my leader and the sin will be on his head”. What would happen?
Student – I would go to jail by myself and my leader would be free to continue leading others to do his dirty work.
Teacher – Would you say you were blessed for following your leader?
Student – No, he was blessed and I was suffering.
Teacher – This is an extreme example of what really happens… Saying that your leader told you to do it does not make you exempt from the consequences of your actions. Do you remember hearing about the people who would hurt others and when asked why they did it they said, “The devil made me do it?”
Student – Yeah
Teacher – Well, they went to jail, but the devil remains free. If your leader gives you bad marriage advice, it is your marriage that suffers for your actions, not his. If you get bad financial advice from your leaders, it is your finances that suffer, not theirs. If you get bad spiritual advice from your leaders, then it is your spirit and spirituality that suffers from your application of bad advice, not theirs.
Student – …
Teacher – Do you remember the parable of the ten virgins?
Student – Sort of. I remember there were ten virgins with oil lamps and some had oil and some didn’t. The ones that had oil got to go to the marriage when the groom came and the ones that didn’t couldn’t.
Teacher – That’s pretty good. Here’s the parable taught by Christ.
“1. Then shall the kingdom of heaven be likened unto ten virgins, which took their lamps, and went forth to meet the bridegroom.
2. And five of them were wise, and five were foolish.
3. They that were foolish took their lamps, and took no oil with them:
4. But the wise took oil in their vessels with their lamps.
5. While the bridegroom tarried, they all slumbered and slept.
6. And at midnight there was a cry made, Behold, the bridegroom cometh; go ye out to meet him.
7. Then all those virgins arose, and trimmed their lamps.
8. And the foolish said unto the wise, Give us of your oil; for our lamps are gone out.
9. But the wise answered, saying, Not so; lest there be not enough for us and you: but go ye rather to them that sell, and buy for yourselves.
10. And while they went to buy, the bridegroom came; and they that were ready went in with him to the marriage: and the door was shut.
11. Afterward came also the other virgins, saying, Lord, Lord, open to us.
12. But he answered and said, Verily I say unto you, I know you not.” – Matt. 25:1-12
Teacher – Jesus starts this parable by telling us that the kingdom of God is likened to all ten of these virgins, the wise and the foolish. The believers of Christ ae considered the kingdom of heaven. All of them have knowledge of the wedding and are expecting to get in just as all the members of the church have knowledge of Christ are expected to enter heaven through him.
But, among the believers of Christ, that want in to heaven, there are those who are foolish and those who are wise. Only the wise will get in. The foolish will not. What makes the difference between those who are wise who will gain entrance and those who are foolish who will be denied?
Student – Well, the wise have oil in their lamps and the foolish don’t.
Teacher – Why is oil important?
Student – Because the lamp is useless without it. Teacher – Why is the lamp important?
Student – Because it is midnight meaning that it is dark outside and they need a light to see where they are going. Those who have the light can see where they are going and will see how to get to the marriage while those without a light will not.
Teacher – Correct. This is a parable because he is describing spiritual things which cannot be seen by comparing them with physical things which can be. What is the spiritual light that helps us to see?
Student – The light of the Gospel or maybe the Holy Ghost…
Teacher – Remember that all the virgins have the gospel or knowledge about the gospel but they do not all have a light to see through the darkness. The Holy Ghost guides us and shows us all things that we should do. And while the gift of the Holy Ghost is the lamp that has been given to each of the virgins, both the foolish and the wise, only the wise have the oil or experience to use the Holy Ghost to light their path. The foolish have not filled their lamps with experience.
Student – Ok, so we need to not only have the Holy Ghost, but know how to use it or we will not be invited into the marriage with Christ.
Teacher – That’s right.
Student – So then, when we follow our leaders without getting our own revelation, we are relying on the light of others to guide us and not learning how to light our own path.
Teacher – Exactly
Student – So we should never obey our leaders and only do what we think is right.
Teacher – Hold on. We don’t want to throw the baby out with the bath water. Remember in the parable how the virgins prepared during the day and some put oil in their lamps during the day while they could see and the others didn’t?
Student – Yes.
Teacher – That means that the wise virgins learned to follow the Holy Ghost for themselves while they had the guidance of their leaders to light the way. They learned to hear and trust the spirit for themselves during the day when they didn’t need the light to guide them through the night. This is what the wise virgins did. But the foolish virgins acted as if the darkness would never come. They used the day to light their way and didn’t prepare for the night. When the night came, they weren’t prepared.
Student – Ok, that makes sense in the parable, but what does it mean in real life? How do we fill our lamps in the day to prepare for the night?
Teacher – We learn to receive our own revelation through the Holy Ghost and learn to recognize and follow its promptings in our everyday life. We need to learn to recognize when our lamp is lit and when it is gone out which is when we have the spirit and when we don’t. We need to learn to recognize the difference between our own thoughts and the promptings from the spirit. We need to know when to follow promptings from God vs promptings from other sources. All this takes time, practice and experience.
Student – Yeah, I can see that. But how do we know when the night comes?
Teacher – The night comes when the light of our leaders cannot show us the way. We are in spiritual darkness because we don’t know what to do. That is when we need the light of our own revelation. It happens when we don’t expect it. It could come when we don’t have access to our leaders physically, or when the counsel and direction our leaders give is not right or applicable and the spirit is trying to tell us to do something different.
Student – What do you mean that the spirit is trying to tell us to do something different than our leader’s counsel?
Teacher – Well, it’s like what the apostle, Elder Oaks taught at a church single adults fireside. He had just given strong and clear counsel and concluded by saying the following:
“Now, brothers and sisters, if you are troubled about something we have just said, please listen very carefully to what I will say now…
If you feel you are a special case, so that the strong counsel I have given doesn’t apply to you, please don’t write me a letter. Why would I make this request? I have learned that the kind of direct counsel I have given results in a large number of letters from members who feel they are an exception, and they want me to confirm that the things I have said just don’t apply to them in their special circumstance.
I will explain why I can’t offer much comfort in response to that kind of letter by telling you an experience I had with another person who was troubled by a general rule. I gave a talk in which I mentioned the commandment “Thou shalt not kill” (Ex. 20:13). Afterward a man came up to me in tears saying that what I had said showed there was no hope for him. “What do you mean?” I asked him.
He explained that he had been a machine gunner during the Korean War. During a frontal assault, his machine gun mowed down scores of enemy infantry. Their bodies were piled so high in front of his gun that he and his men had to push them away in order to maintain their field of fire. He had killed a hundred, he said, and now he must be going to hell because I had spoken of the Lord’s commandment “Thou shalt not kill.”
The explanation I gave that man is the same explanation I give to you if you feel you are an exception to what I have said. As a General Authority, I have the responsibility to preach general principles. When I do, I don’t try to define all the exceptions. There are exceptions to some rules. For example, we believe the commandment is not violated by killing pursuant to a lawful order in an armed conflict. But don’t ask me to give an opinion on your exception. I only teach the general rules. Whether an exception applies to you is your responsibility. You must work that out individually between you and the Lord.
The Prophet Joseph Smith taught this same thing in another way. When he was asked how he governed such a diverse group of Saints, he said, “I teach them correct principles, and they govern themselves.” In what I have just said, I am simply teaching correct principles and inviting each one of you to act upon these principles by governing yourself.” - Dating versus Hanging Out, May 1, 2005, Elder Dallin H. Oaks
Student – Oh, wow. Ok, so we have to realize that there are exceptions to the counsel and directions of our leaders and we have to follow the Holy Ghost so that we know when those exceptions apply and when they don’t.
Teacher – That’s right. Ultimately our progression, salvation and standing with God rests squarely on our shoulders. Nobody can walk the path for us or even tell us everything we need to do to come to God. Brigham Young said it this way,
"There are those among this people who are influenced, controlled, and biased in their thoughts, actions, and feelings by some other individual or family, on whom they place their dependence for spiritual and temporal instruction, and for salvation in the end.
These persons do not depend upon themselves for salvation, but upon another of their poor, weak, fellow mortals. I do not depend upon any inherent goodness of my own, say they, to introduce me into the kingdom of glory, but I depend upon you, brother Joseph, upon you, brother Brigham, upon you, brother Heber, or upon you, brother James; I believe your judgment is superior to mine, and consequently I let you judge for me; your spirit is better than mine, therefore you can do good for me; I will submit myself wholly to you, and place in you all my confidence for life and salvation; where you go I will go, and where you tarry there I will stay; expecting that you will introduce me through the gates into the heavenly Jerusalem....Now those men, or those women, who know no more about the power of God, and the influences of the Holy Spirit, than to be led entirely by another person, suspending their own understanding, and pinning their faith upon another's sleeve, will never be capable of entering into the celestial glory, to be crowned as they anticipate; they will never be capable of becoming Gods. They cannot rule themselves, to say nothing of ruling others, but they must be dictated to in every trifle, like a child. They cannot control themselves in the least, but James, Peter, or somebody else must control them, They never can become Gods, nor be crowned as rulers with glory, immortality, and eternal lives. They never can hold scepters of glory, majesty, and power in the celestial kingdom. Who will? Those who are valiant and inspired with the true independence of heaven, who will go forth boldly in the service of their God, leaving others to do as they please, determined to do right, though all mankind besides should take the opposite course." - Brigham Young
Student – Wow, those are powerful words. It kind of makes sense how we need to become like God who knows what to do for Himself. We can’t do that by following others and expecting that if we do whatever they say, even if it is wrong, we will be blessed.
Requirements for Accountability
Teacher – Let’s go back to accountability… It is important to know when a person is accountable for their actions for a few reasons. First, you can’t sin if you aren’t accountable.
Student – Why not?
Teacher – Because sin is attributed to people only when they are accountable for their actions. If they aren’t accountable, then they are innocent. You can’t be innocent and a sinner at the same time.
“Wherefore, they cannot sin, for power is not given unto Satan to tempt little children, until they begin to become accountable before me;” - D&C 29:47
Student – But they can break the commandments?
Teacher – They can transgress the commandments which means break them without being accountable. Some people who don’t know the difference between sin and transgression mistakenly use them interchangeably as if they meant the same thing, but they are very different.
They both mean that a person has broken a law, or done something against the law, but there is a major difference. The difference between sin and transgression is that to sin, a person must be accountable and if a person is not accountable, then they transgressed.
If they transgressed, they are not accountable and remain innocent through the atonement. The innocent or transgressor doesn’t need to repent to be saved, but sinners are called to repentance.
“10. Behold I say unto you that this thing shall ye teach—repentance and baptism unto those who are accountable and capable of committing sin; yea, teach parents that they must repent and be baptized, and humble themselves as their little children, and they shall all be saved with their little children.
11. And their little children need no repentance, neither baptism. Behold, baptism is unto repentance to the fulfilling the commandments unto the remission of sins." - Moro. 8:10-11
Please realize that even though they are not accountable for their actions, and cannot sin, they are still subject to the natural consequences of their actions. If you touch the fire, you will get burned even if you don’t know what getting burned means. It is just not considered a sin and you are forgiven for “not knowing what you do”, (see Luke 23:34).
Sometimes people feel like they are sinners when they are transgressing because they don’t know the difference. This is a problem because they are emotionally beating themselves up because they want to repent but can’t.
Student – What do you mean they can’t repent but want to?
Teacher – Well, they know that what is happening is not right, and they don’t want to do it, but they can’t seem to stop it. They aren’t in control of the situation for a variety of reasons. To repent, you have to be in control of the situation. You not only have to know what should be done or not done, but how to do it and how to control all the different factors that are causing them to break the commandments.
Student – I need an example to understand this. Teacher – Ok, the commandments tell us not to have sex outside marriage. If you are raped, then you didn’t have control of the situation and so broke a commandment without being accountable. So, you’re not a sinner and you can’t repent. You can’t repent because you don’t have control of the situation.
That’s easy. They need to have knowledge, and the more knowledge they have the more accountable they are.
Student – I see, they don’t have control, so they can’t repent. If they don’t have control, then they aren’t accountable.
Teacher – That’s right, but that is only one thing that could prevent a person from being accountable. There are five requirements that must be met before a persn can be accountable.
Student – There are five requirements?
Teacher – Yep.
Student – And if a person doesn’t have all five, then they aren’t accountable?
Teacher – Yep.
Student – And if they aren’t accountable, then they can’t sin?
Teacher – That’s right.
Student – Well, what are the five things we have to have to be accountable?
Teacher – Take a look at this outline…
The Five Requirements for Accountability
For a person to be accountable, they must have the ability to make a choice. Anything that impairs a person’s ability to choose impairs a person’s accountability. The more a person is able to choose for themselves unimpeded, the more accountable they are for their actions. For an individual to truly make a choice or have agency enough to sin, they must have all of the following:
- Opposition or at least 2 choices
- Desire toward one of the choices
- Ability to choose for themselves
- Consequences or results of choice
- Knowledge of Good and Evil
Opposition
“For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things.” – 2 Nephi 2:11-13
To have agency which allows us to fulfill the plan of salvation, we have to have options. To choose between good and evil, we must have at least two choices, one good and one evil. A person is not blessed for doing the right thing when there was no wrong option, neither are they cursed for doing the wrong thing when there was no other option.
Our probationary period is given to us to see whether we will choose good or evil. We are must prove ourselves good or evil by our choices. If we only have one option, then the probationary period would be void.
“For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things. If not so, my firstborn in the wilderness, righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor bad. Wherefore, all things must needs be a compound in one; wherefore, if it should be one body it must needs remain as dead, having no life neither death, nor corruption nor incorruption, happiness nor misery, neither sense nor insensibility.” – 2 Nephi 2:11
Desire
“Wherefore, man could not act for himself save it should be that he was enticed by the one or the other.” – 2 Nephi 2:16
To make a true decision, a person must have a desire toward one of the opposing choices. Usually a person who have knowledge of good and evil will naturally gravitate toward one or the other. If they don’t have a preference, then they aren’t going to choose. If they delay long enough, someone else or something else will force the decision on them.
To be accountable to our decisions, we have to have a preference toward one of the options. If we asked a person what kind of ice cream they wanted and gave them the choice between chocolate, vanilla or strawberry, and they responded with, “I don’t care just pick one.” Then we would make the decision for them based on our own criteria.
Desire is a requirement for choice.
Ability to Choose
“Wherefore, the Lord God gave unto man that he should act for himself. Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; and all things are given them which are expedient unto man. And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil” – 2 Nephi 2:27
Clearly if you are forced into doing something, then you aren’t acting for yourself and so aren’t accountable, but this is not really as black and white as it seems.
Accountability is based on how free we are to choose for ourselves without unrelated external or imposed consequences. This means that the more external pressure you are experiencing to act against your own will and desire, the less free you are to make the choice you want and therefore the less accountable.
For example, if someone were to hold a gun to your head and demand that you do something completely contrary to your will and desire, your decision is no longer whether or not to do the thing in question, it is whether or not you want to live. You are therefore only accountable for the decision to live and not for the action to do what they are demanding of you.
To a lesser degree, if you want to do something but you know that someone will be upset with you for doing it, your decision is not just whether or not to do the thing. You now have to decide whether or not doing what you want is worth upsetting the person and whatever they might do to you in retaliation. So, your decision is being influenced by the external pressure of another person. If that person is abusive, it could impact your decision in a big way and if you didn’t not make a choice that you wanted to make but that would avoid contention or abuse, then you were not free to chose for yourself.
Your ability to choose is very much impacted by others. Your ability to choose and your accountability for your actions is determined by how much others impact your decisions and have taken the focus away from the actual decision and place it on their reaction to your decision. You are only free to choose when you are making decisions that you want to make. Decisions that match up with your desires uninfluenced by the reactions of others.
Consequences
“the punishment which is affixed, which punishment that is affixed is in opposition to that of the happiness which is affixed” – 2 Nephi 2:10
Some people will make choices and their parents do them a disservice by taking away the consequences of their choices to protect them from their bad decisions. To really make the decision, you have to go through with the decision you made and receive the results of your decision. Also, if you made a choice and didn't receive the consequences of that choice, (good or bad) then you didn't really have agency. It's like choosing strawberry ice-cream and getting vanilla. Did you really choose or have a choice if you didn’t get what you asked for?
This means that if you tend to protect others from their choices, then you are taking their agency and agency is REQUIRED for us to learn to distinguish good from evil. People whose parents protect them from the negative consequences of their actions have prevented them from learning. Eventually if they protect them long enough, then when the child grows up, they will make choices that require the law to get involved and the parents will not be able to protect the child from the consequences imposed by the courts. For some children, that is what they have to do, how far they have to go, to become agents to themselves.
Knowledge of Good and Evil
In addition to all the previous requirements for agency, choice and accountability is knowledge.
Knowledge of each point is essential to having agency. If a person has multiple choices but doesn’t know they have multiple choices, then they do not have the ability to choose between the options.
If they are being forced or manipulated into a choice but don’t know they are then they aren’t really choosing. Magicians or mentalists will often take people’s choice without them knowing it. Politicians will do this as well by the information they provide to the masses. If the general public knew the whole story, then they would make different decisions. By giving them specific information or even disinformation, politicians are able to control and influences the choices of the masses. This means that the masses do not really have a choice because they are only being given information that leads to one conclusion.
In addition to basic knowledge of the options and information, moral agency requires the additional “knowledge of good and evil”. Morality is when someone is considering the options they have from the view point of good vs evil to determine what is good and why vs what is evil and why. Being Morally good should outweigh all other considerations.
The way we gain moral agency is by experience. We must have agency first and use it to make choices BEFORE we can know good from evil. We make bad choices and thereby learn evil and why it isn’t so good. When we learn from our own mistakes, we KNOW for ourselves good from evil and are able to choose between them.
“And the Messiah cometh in the fulness of time, that he may redeem the children of men from the fall. And because that they are redeemed from the fall they have become free forever, knowing good from evil; to act for themselves and not to be acted upon, save it be by the punishment of the law at the great and last day, according to the commandments which God hath given. – 2 Ne. 2:25
Being told what is right or wrong does not mean that you know good from evil. Even if a prophet tells you something, you only have reason to believe and not knowledge.
The prophet Alma teaches this principle and tells the people that even though they heard him say it, and even though he said it as the prophet, this does not mean they know that it is true and they are not accountable to knowledge. Even though the prophet told them directly, they still do not have knowledge for themselves, they only have faith or reason to believe.
“19. And now, how much more cursed is he that knoweth the will of God and doeth it not, than he that only believeth, or only hath cause to believe, and falleth into transgression?
...
26. Now, as I said concerning faith—that it was not a perfect knowledge—even so it is with my words. Ye cannot know of their surety at first, unto perfection, any more than faith is a perfect knowledge." - Alma 32:19-26
Notice in that first verse, Alma teaches that believing or having cause to believe makes us significantly less accountable than knowing something.
In the second verse, he points out that when the prophets like himself tell us something, it doesn’t mean we know it. We hear the prophet’s words and have a reason to believe or a reason to have faith. And this is a lower level of accountability than knowing something.
This is a very interesting point Alma makes because it brings us to question what knowledge really is. If knowledge isn’t being told something by someone else, even a prophet, then what is required to have knowledge enough to sin?
It may be hard to define every way that you can gain knowledge, but you can easily tell when someone has it using a simple trick.
If you have been told what is right and what is wrong, but you don’t know for yourself, then you do not have the knowledge required to be an agent to yourself. They can easily be recognized because when you ask them why they are doing something, they can explain the reasons in detail referencing experience and the undesirable results of doing it other ways. They are making the decision for themselves and not relying on others. They are essentially an expert on it such that they could easily teach someone else without referencing anyone else.
Examples of How People Live
Consider the limited outline below explaining some of the extreme examples of what people might do and how you can tell:
- Blindly Obey - trusting in someone else’s wisdom which may be right or wrong. Complete trust in someone else. Essentially they give up their agency to obedience.
- People who do this will say things like – “Follow your leaders, even if they are wrong”
- If you ask these people why they do something they will reference someone else that told them to do it by saying something like, “Because Mom or someone else said to”
- Adam said, “I know not, save the Lord commanded me.”
- Blindly Disobey - Distrusting in someone else’s wisdom which may be right or wrong. Essentially they give up their agency to disobedience.
- We see this when people become disaffected from the church and throw out the baby with the bath water. They might start drinking, smoking or breaking other commandments taught by the church because they can. They are just as blind as those blindly obeying, they only apply their blindness differently.
- People who do this will refer to someone in the negative and state that they are just acting contrary for the sake of being contrary. They might say something like, “Don’t do anything the church tells you to do.”
- If you ask these people why they do something they will say, “Because Mom said to and I am mad at my mom, so I won’t do anything my mom tells me to do.”
- Independence of Heaven – These people do the best they can by making educated decisions. They unknowingly become self-accountable by gaining the 5 requirements for agency and accountability. They research and gain KNOWLEDGE about their OPTIONs and the CONSEQUENCES and MORALITY (good vs evil) of each option until they have a firm DESIRE for one of the options. Then exercise their ABILITY to CHOSE and act on their decisions. They become accountable for their own actions and let the CONSEQUENCES of their decisions fall squarely on them, even when the consequences are not pleasant.
- People who do this will say things like, “If you do X then Y will happen. I wanted Y, so I did X instead of Z.”
- If you ask these people why they do something they will say, “My mom said this… and my friend said… so, I thought about it and decided that I want to…”
We must learn from our own experience to really know something. We experience the results of our decisions and learn from them and thereby gain knowledge of good and evil. Knowledge cannot come from someone else. It must come from ourselves.
This is important because without knowledge, we cannot sin. Sin is defined as acting “Knowingly AND willingly” against God’s law. If you don’t have knowledge OR you don’t have the ability to act according to your own will (Agency), then you cannot sin. If you act against God’s law without knowledge or will (Agency) then you are NOT sinning, you are transgressing.
"17. Yea, there are many who do say: If thou wilt show unto us a sign from heaven, then we shall know of a surety; then we shall believe.
18. Now I ask, is this faith? Behold, I say unto you, Nay; for if a man knoweth a thing he hath no cause to believe, for he knoweth it.
19. And now, how much more cursed is he that knoweth the will of God and doeth it not, than he that only believeth, or only hath cause to believe, and falleth into transgression?” - ." - Alma 32:17-19
If you do not know something for yourself, then your mistakes are considered transgressions and not sins. We will explain why this distinction is important in the next chapter.
In the endowment, we learn that God says,
“Jehovah, see that Adam and Eve are driven out of this beautiful garden into the lone and dreary world, where they may learn from their own experience to distinguish good from evil.”
This is how God intended us to gain knowledge, by our own experience. Not by being told, not by being punished, not by any other means than by our own experience. This is the fastest way we learn and the only way we truly progress.
There is nothing wrong with teaching correct principles, but at the end of the day, people must be left to govern themselves.