Home » Calling and Election Made Sure » How You Received Your Calling and Election Made Sure » First Step (Born of God)
| First Step [message #2979] |
Wed, 07 May 2014 06:15  |
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Rodney
Messages: 21
Registered: April 2014
Location: Pacific North West
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Junior Member |
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There is no Born of God (spirit, fire, HG or again) areas, so I'm posting here. I will follow up with part 2 later. (Please move if you feel 'moved' to do so)
I originally posted this experience in LDSS as Icarus but much has happened since then.
I also just posted an experience earlier in my life in "DEMONS~As a Child" http://www.elliaison.org/forum/index.php?t=msg&th=568&start=0&rid=824&S=06667c51a46f3b2dc770496cad47a582
I've struggled all my life and was so full of pride and vanity among a host of other undesirable traits. My strugglings have sometimes been positive but often,... not so much. There have been 'singularities' though. I have felt the Savior as if He was so near... so near, like He was telling me He was right there, as if to say "come, I'm right here". But I just didn't quite get it. From my current view, I'd say "I was the barrier". I used to think I let the barrier and self-knowledge of my sins drive me from Him. Today I know different. Consider what would have happened if Abraham's son fled in terror when told he would be expected to lay his body upon the alter and be sacrificed? But I am not comparing myself, this is just to pose a question (refer to DEMONS). Only last night did I finally understand the consequences of my actions in "DEMONS~As a Child" and that the last two years were bridging my early experience and the second comforter, which I seek.
In June of 2012 I was ride sharing and had an opportunity to travel solo allowing me to pray an hour each way... so I took it. I was being repetitively invited to 'seek Him'. Sounds odd to most people I think. I was singing some hymns at one point and broke off to prayer and suggested He might just want to heal my voice since I wasn't all that good at it. He interrupted me. He stopped me right there and said He loved my singing and I was shocked. Then He told me I was His friend... I've never felt like I could ever be His friend, so what did I ever do to deserve that? The next day or so after that, while praying, I was asking Him why? Why did He never leave me? I just didn't understand, and I was really tore up about it. Sobbing while driving along the Columbia River Gorge, and a hundred yards or so after passing into the Washington side of the Oregon border I felt an answer coming and refused it and wouldn't be comforted. Why had He never left me?
At that moment, on a sunny June day, one week before my 52nd birthday, driving on a two lane hi-way I was given the single, most precious gift I have ever received. At the time I thought of it as,... well... a hug, for the lack of any possible description, from Christ that somehow caused me to experience His love. That split second I 'knew' His love,... I also knew His love for every person everywhere. I couldn't ask "why" anymore. I knew.
As I said, I didn't know what to call it. I wondered if it was what is called being 'born of God' or baptism of the spirit, but I didn't know. It was three months when, as I say, I realized I was still mortal. Odd to read that I'm sure, but accurate to what I felt. For the next 3 or 4 weeks I received many 'revelations', about many things. He told me things I had no other way of even guessing and they happened in rapid succession. My job in the middle east is part of that.
Only within the last year did I realize my experience was 'baptism of the spirit' nor could I keep the Savior out of my thoughts. I have spent a great deal of time at His feet, sobbing at the obvious disparity of seeking His forgiveness while feeling the great weight of "my" sins; knowing I did not deserve Him. I now know the importance of forgiving others, and not judging. I cringe at my many mistakes, the demons,... oh, the demons. I truly believe I was lost in a just end. Now I know His mercy, peace, and the change that has filled my life.
I will add part two in a few days, perhaps more,... I never had a 'guide' and I've been encouraged by those who have written their experiences, especially on this site. Thank you.
[Updated on: Wed, 07 May 2014 06:23] Report message to a moderator |
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