Home » Calling and Election Made Sure » How You Received Your Calling and Election Made Sure » My C&E and my change of Heart (How I received my C&E and how I have changed inside. )
| My C&E and my change of Heart [message #2425] |
Mon, 06 May 2013 23:22  |
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Sheol27
Messages: 49
Registered: April 2013
Location: Wyoming
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To preface this story I need to give some history about myself for this has been a journey and not a place that I arrived at over night. I take after my mother for one. She is upright in keeping the commandments but sometimes finds it difficult and disgusted when people commit certain grievous sins. (Anything harmful to a child) In fact I have found people like Orrin Porter Rockwell very intriguing.
A few months ago, I was talking with my best friend and his wife and they know that I am kind of a nerd when it comes to the gospel so they were asking what I thought would happen to certain people that committed certain sins. My reply, "I'm not sure but I am hoping that God sub contracts their punishment out!" The wife giggled and said "That would be the perfect job for my husband!" (He is way good with firearms, better than most military personnel) I related to this at the time. 
This makes me think back to when I arrived home from my mission and the Stake President was interviewing me for release as a missionary. He asked me what the "turning point" in my mission was? I thought for a moment and told him about when I came to realize from a general conference talk (President Faust) that we wouldn't be judged just by our deeds but the Lord would look at our heart's as well. I was a very obedient missionary (I could go several weeks without slipping up on a tiny rule) but sometimes I didn't feel that I was being obedient out of love. (Our mission president made us write down which rules we would break if we broke more than 2 rules a week) I have struggled with the universal sin of pride and I believe in being honest and when you struggle with that sin and you are honest, there is no way that you are going to want to write down your wrongs and send them in! It was easier to keep the rules. Anyways I told my stake president that my turning point was when I realized that I needed to change me more within. (For me this is not an overnight journey)
To further illustrate my heart at the time I have a mission story that probably helped lead to this needed change of heart. We met this lady tracting and we spoke to her at the door. She was definitely pregnant. No doubt. She spoke to us in a way were she appeared to me hardened towards us and not willing to learn but yet we talked her into letting us try back at a more convenient time. (I wouldn't have called this a good lead yet) We walked away and I said I silent prayer inside. I told God that I thought that her heart was hard and I asked God to soften her heart and make her more humble.
I may not see things beyond the veil as frequently as others in this forum or have the miraculous power to frequently heal people from dreadful sicknesses but my gifts are different. IMHO that is a good thing because it gives us the chance to serve each other more with our different gifts. As soon as I said what I said the impression came to me that she would lose her child. I feel sorry for this. My wife had this happen to her as well when we had no children yet but when I returned she had lost her child and IMO she was for sure not in her 1st trimester like my wife was. I did not pray specifically for her child's death but I did pray for the Lord to humble her. Needless to say I felt really bad.
I brought this painful story up for a reason. I have enemies today. It is sad to say but it is not my choosing. Due to the church I belong to and the standards I have chosen this has created me enemies. (I don't currently live in Utah) I don't believe in revenge. It says somewhere in the D&C that we lack faith if we don't leave revenge in the Lord's hands. Because of previous experiences I don't pray for the Lord to humble people either. (I do pray that he protects me from such people though)
The Lord has put me in a place where I don't have to deal with these enemies all of the time. Meanwhile someone on this forum messaged me after I had been starting to soften my heart more towards these enemies which I didn't hate I just wanted to be left alone by them. Anyways this person which I believe is inspired messaged me, offering me a book about the C&E. When someone offers you a gift at no cost it is, IMO, needful to take serious. I ended up having to travel out of town soon after receiving it. It was a great companion to have. On reflecting on it I had some great spiritual experiences that shed light on previous spiritual experiences that I did not hardly comprehend.
I didn't go about getting my C&E exactly how the book said. I had already been communicating with God and had been given a prior list of things that I needed to change. (I have been praying about another big decision that I need to make) God kept giving me things that I needed to improve. I decided that I needed to fix those things (with the Lord's help of course) and in my mind, I should wait a whole month or so and with fasting and prayer I should ask for the promise of exaltation. I prayed and told God what I was working on and what my goal was. He witnessed to me that it was right. I had the impression that if I asked then that perhaps the Lord would have told me yes already but I feared to ask. I wasn't ready to receive His response.
A few days later I was in a cabin high in the mountains in Utah where the family was having a get together. It was a peaceful outing. Late at night I was praying with great feeling to our Father. The Holy Ghost told me again to ask. I did. I received my answer. I don't wish to focus on the peace that I felt in that answer but what came next. I have explained already about how my heart has been. As a laid down I pondered what had just taken place. Another feeling/ presence came over me. It was a feeling of love. I felt no hate, no dislike in me whatsoever towards others. I even felt love towards my enemies. I had not had hate but I found love? I feel now that I have changed. I even pray that my enemies may feel it in their hearts to become my friends.
I do believe that love in the most important attribute that we can have and that it was out of love that our oldest brother would come down here from off His thrown from above and suffer for us that we may become like Him. I testify that when he was kneeling at Gethsemane in tremendous pain in that exact moment He was filled with Love not Anger like many turn to in pain.
I am the oldest of my siblings in a large family and I can honestly say that I would do anything for my brothers and sisters. I love them and want all of us to be with each other in Heaven but I believe that the Lord has even a greater love for us. When we feel that love and care that what will give us the strength to move on to change our hearts. If anyone else feels that their hearts need to change as well, I challenge you to ask God to teach you how important you are to Him and to His son.
I do have many questions still as far as things about the C&E and the 2nd Comforter but I think I will save those for another time.
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| Re: My C&E and my change of Heart [message #2427 is a reply to message #2425] |
Tue, 07 May 2013 13:28  |
Amonhi
Messages: 237
Registered: June 2010
Location: Las Vegas, NV.
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Senior Member |
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Sheol27, Thank you for sharing your story and experiences! How wonderful! That's pretty crazy about the lady loosing her baby. I always wonder if it was the Lord's will before and you asked that she be humbled and were told that it was already in the works or if this was a direct result of your request to humble her. Either way, that is an awesome and powerful experience. I think it humbled you too.
I like to hear about experiences where we receive a revelation which is confirmed shortly after. It is the process by which we learn to know that those things which cannot be confirmed are still true.
The change of heart IS the real work we need to accomplish. I used to be like you described, very obedient, but for the wrong reasons. There are lots of wrong reasons to be obedient, and usually those who are strictly obedient for the wrong reasons have a slew of other issues like judging others, pride and even obeying the law against the spirit. It can actually be counter productive. It was for me anyway.
I had to learn as well that it isn't about what you do, but why you do it. A man can pray, but that doesn't mean he is blessed for it or that it is counted as good to him. He can give a gift, but when it is given grudgingly it is counted as evil. This is why an evil man can do no good. he can go to church, but not for the right reasons and so it is counted evil.
Quote:5 For I remember the word of God which saith by their works ye shall know them; for if their works be good, then they are good also.
6 For behold, God hath said a man being evil cannot do that which is good; for if he offereth a gift, or prayeth unto God, except he shall do it with real intent it profiteth him nothing.
7 For behold, it is not counted unto him for righteousness.
8 For behold, if a man being evil giveth a gift, he doeth it grudgingly; wherefore it is counted unto him the same as if he had retained the gift; wherefore he is counted evil before God.
9 And likewise also is it counted evil unto a man, if he shall pray and not with real intent of heart; yea, and it profiteth him nothing, for God receiveth none such.
10 Wherefore, a man being evil cannot do that which is good; neither will he give a good gift." - Moro. 7:6-10
I find this scripture interesting because in verse 5 it tells us that by looking at a person's works we can tell if they are good or not. But then it clarifies and says that an evil man praying outwardly appears to be doing good works, but inwardly his works are evil.
And just as an evil man cannot do good, a good man cannot do evil. If he cannot do evil, then he is righteous/sinless. This is why the change of heart is essential. The carnal man has a carnal heart and can do no good. But when our hearts are changed, and we become Love like God is love, then we can do no evil and we become godly.
This was also a BIG lesson and turning point for me as well, and I related to your story on many levels.
So glad you could join us here, you'll fit right in. I look forward to hearing more of your experiences.
Peace, love and welcome,
Amonhi
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| Re: My C&E and my change of Heart [message #2446 is a reply to message #2428] |
Thu, 09 May 2013 09:28 |
bishop
Messages: 144
Registered: July 2010
Location: USA
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Senior Member |
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D&D 121:45 "Let thy bowels also be full of charity towards all men, and to the household of faith,...then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God; and the doctrine of the priesthood shall distill upon thy soul as the dews from heaven. 46. The Holy Ghost shall be thy constant companion, and thy scepter an unchanging scepter of righteousness and truth; and thy dominion shall be an everlasting dominion, and without compulsory means it shall flow unto thee forever and ever." I left out the virtue part to emphasize the following point:
Love is the key to our eternal dominion. When we become Love, all good things want to be under our dominion, just as they are under Father's dominion. Love, therefor, is the most powerful force in the universe, and yet it is not what we would consider to be a force at all. All things have their agency and all that is good desires to be ruled over by love.
Bishop
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