Home » Calling and Election Made Sure » How You Received Your Calling and Election Made Sure » My Story (Not easy to post, but feel I should. (not sure but may be posting this twice....first time didn't seem to work))
| My Story [message #3409] |
Sat, 10 January 2015 20:01  |
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sunlightbjt
Messages: 2
Registered: January 2015
Location: United States
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Junior Member |
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My Story
I'm new here. I was led here by the Lord...well at least to the book (The fullness...). I'm not sure who I want to read this...not the world out there who is reading openly...but I would prefer that only others who believe as I do and have had similar experiences read this. But...we are all children of God and God wants all to come to Him. That is why we are here on this planet to try to earn our own individual salvation. There is a great Plan of Salvation...and there is an individual plan for each of us. Our own Plan of Salvation. It is custom fit for each of us. Mine was custom fit for me in the pre-existance. I believe that I sat down with my Heavenly Parents and my Savior and help construct my own plan. Sometimes on this earth I have deja vu experiences...like I have seen that moment before. I feel that I was shown certain moments before when we were getting ready for me to come here. God's great power and foreknowledge gave me the opportunity to see snippets of my life. I completely accepted it all before I came here.
I was born in 1959. I am now 55 years old. I've always loved light, the gospel of Jesus Christ, and my church ..The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I have always felt God's love and have always loved my Heavenly Father and everything about his gospel.
My life went fine....with some ups and downs in late college years. I didn't get married until I was 27...I had had some heartbreaks...one of which was that I thought I had recognized a young man from my pre existance. He was dark haired and very spiritual guy. He turned out to be more of friend in high school and college rather than a boyfriend. But, I always had this memory...that I couldn't explain. It turned out not to be him...when he came home from his mission, I remember thinking "it's not him,,...it doesn't even look like him"....
anyway....long story shorter (I hope). I ended up marrying someone that didn't look or feel like him at all(the memory I had). But I had an experience that I was supposed to marry him and so I did. Love was there and we had four beautiful children. I wanted more but my husband said no more children. I was devestated and angry. I lost two babies before that to miscarriage. There were also other painful challenges in my life during these years of raising the children.
I don't feel comfortable in going into alot of detail and also it is personal. I do want to share though that I had a severe trial of faith hit me hard several years ago. It was so difficult for me....it was two part. One part came from having an emotionally and verbally abusive husband...and then there was another part to it. I am a very good person but was suffering and was tempted to a great level. I dealt with demonic attacks also at night and had to cast them out "in the name of Jesus Christ"...more than I can count. I heard the devils audible voice (a frustrated awful dark voice...talk to me in frustration and ..just horribly "Time is Running Out!!!" ..he said....It was awful. (that only happened once) I guess he wanted me to do his work and I was trying to stay on the Lord's side and trying trying trying to get through this trial of my faith. It was so hard...it was so very very hard...I cry now just thinking about it.
One night, I was on my knees crying out to the Lord. Please forgive me of my weakness. Please forgive me of my sins. I had repented and tried again so many times....but this time, this one night after I had prayed, something very precious happened to me....I got into bed and it was dark, but peaceful. I remember my husband lay in bed near me but with his back to me as he usually does. After I closed my eyes to go to sleep.....it was dark, ...but then I saw a light (outside of my eyes...as they were closed)....it was like someone had turned the lamp on near me. The light slowly came toward me and entered my head.....it literally consumed ALL of my troubled thoughts of my mind. It stayed in my head but it spread down down until ..into my arms (both same time)...into my fingers...down into my legs..and feet...until my whole entire self was filled with this most peaceful, loving, wonderful heavenly element of light. I was filled. It was a literal baptism of fire. A fire as in a match of fire....the rate it moved was similar of the rate the fire moves down a match. This light was enough to completely fill me head to toe. It was very literal...very tangible. I knew it was from God later...but as it happened...it was so very healing and peaceful ...that i just experienced it. It lingered for a short while (being throughout all of me at the same time)...then it withdrew to the side of me and left. I immediately fell asleep and slept through out the night.
Shortly after that a book came to me. Just came to me somehow...can't remember how but it was quite miraculous. Called "Experiencing the Mighty Change". I knew that book came to me from God. This is where I learned that what I had experienced was the baptism of fire. For some it is a life long process of sanctification...for others it is an event (as in the Day of Pentecost). I learned that Lorenzo Snow also had this experience...but his lasted several days (how wonderful that would be!). I learned that my water baptism was now sealed by the Holy Spirit of Promise. I knew that I was now qualified to enter into the Celestial Kingdom. I learned that I had entered the gate. I learned that now I was on the beginning of "the Path".
Since that time...many years have passed by. I have had all kinds of trials and experiences...but my Trial of my Faith never really ended. Still suffered from emotional and verbal abuse and other major aspects of the trial. But then...about I don't know...lets see a year or so ago...things got intense. My trial was literally THE TEST OF ALL TIME. It became very hard, very confusing, and it had a HUGE PARODOX to it that was unbelievably difficult. It was an Abrahamic trial. It had a paradox similar to Abrahams. I learned through study that this paradox is an important variable. I began to study more as I learned this. I read everything and the spirit taught me...opened my eyes and taught me more. I was amazed as I suffered through this and realized that if I could pass this test that my Calling and Election being made sure would possibly come soon after. I somehow came across this website and read some...I ordered the book. I emailed Elliaison ...in that email (just read it again the other day)...I told that person that I felt that my C & E was close ..that I felt I had passed the test of the Trial of my Faith. Then....a miracle in my eyes happened....the day..."THE DAY" that the book by Elliaison came in my mailbox, I was reading in the scriptures. The Lord had recently (within a day or two) talked to me personally in scripture (the D & C). He had told me some very sweet things in those verses. I was reading the sections surrounding this message that I had received. I went and found the book by Elliaison in my mailbox. I came back inside and studied some more. AS I was studying the D&C, I found myself going back to that chapter where the Lord had spoken to me so sweetly and given me love and encouragement...I think it was section 78...not sure exactly. Then...I noticed something at the bottom....It said "You are of the Church of the Firstborn". Then, the spirit came over me with great power and witnessed to me that God was telling me that I was of and in the Church of the Firstborn. WAIT!!! WHAT!!! Was my exact response. My heart began to pound!! I know the Spirit. I know when the Lord is talking to me. I know it very well. I recognized His voice. He was talking to me. I remembered that I had just skimmed over the book I received in the mail. I remembered a part in that book and I grabbed the book and found that part. As I read that part, the spirit filled me again and burned into my soul that my Calling and Election had been made sure. When this realization finally came to me. I was DUMBSTRUCK!!! I literally grabbed my scriptures to my chest and leaped up and down yelling....not yelling..but exclaiming joyous loud sounds! Jumping up and down with my scriptures being held tightly. No one was home and I had complete privacy to exclaim great joy loudly !! : ) I was so happy!! I had so much excitement and joy and praise to my God that I could not contain myself!! I cried and cried with joy. I then fell to my knees and thanked my Heavenly Father for such a great blessing with much fear and trepidation for I knew that I did not do this. I tried to do this, but if it wasn't for the sufferings of our Lord and the Atonement it would never have been possible. I was bought with a price...through His sacrifice. I am forever grateful...and my heart is full right now as I write this. I feel like crying. I know that where much is given, much is expected also. I want to see the Lord. I want to pierce the veil. I know I need to read and study The Lectures on Faith...and go to the temple often. I need to believe that this is the next step. But, I feel so ....unworthy...sort of like I am just a regular person asking for something so great as that. Nevertheless, I know that the Lord wants me to have faith. I know that this is the next step. I know that this is a new day. I have not seen the Lord yet. I have felt Him though...for a long time...right by me. I know that Dallin H Oaks said that the Spirit of the Lord will always be with you if you remember Him....and try to keep your covenants. I am trying to understand the goings on of my life. He is blessing me with other blessings also that are a bit challenging to understand but I am trusting in Him. I want to see the Lord and converse with Him through the veil. I'm trying to prepare for those many great blessings coming.
One things that I learned this last year was that the 144,000 are being called now. NOW!!(maybe have been for several years...one at a time) I was shocked. I now learned recently that this is "of those who have received their C & E.... Not all, but some. What I am trying to say is that I know that the 144,000 all have their C & E. But, not all those with the C & C are necessarily of the 144,000. I also feel their are some who have their C & E and don't know it yet. I would encourage them to ask God about this.
I hope this helps someone. I know that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is God's Kingdom on the earth. You will not hear me EVER speak badly of the leaders of this church in anyway on this forum or anywhere else in my communications with anyone. They are God's leaders on the earth and are busy involved in the great Hastening of His work. I love them. I sustain them always. I love my Savior. He lives! I look forward to seeing Him, to hearing His voice, and receiving further light and knowledge and instruction from my great and wonderful Savior Jesus Christ.
Alma 32
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