Elliaison.org - Forum
Elliaison.org forum is a free discussion group focused on the persuit of truth and spiritual knowledge from every source.
Home » The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints » General Conference & Devotional Discussion » Overcoming abuse through the atonement (Need Help)
Re: Overcoming abuse through the atonement [message #2401 is a reply to message #1267] Wed, 01 May 2013 10:46 Go to previous message
bishop is currently offline  bishop
Messages: 144
Registered: July 2010
Location: USA
Senior Member
Ashley, Dragon, and Jeremy,
My heart goes out to you. I was also physically and emotionally abused as a child. I have several siblings who still suffer immensely from our childhood. We are all in our fifties and sixties. As for me, the abuse seems to be long gone. I know that I am more paranoid than most people and I have an intense resentment for those who abuse their authority. But the pain and emotional suffering of forty years ago are just an unemotional memory for me.

I do credit the Savior and the Gospel for removing that pain. And I know that he is personally overseeing my continued growth unto perfection. Strangely, as a bishop, I came to see that having been abused put me in a unique position of understanding others who suffered abuse as children and adults. I was able to help many who had suffered in this way. I came to be grateful for my own abuse because it enabled me to help so many others to deal with their abuse. I know that this may seem sick and twisted, but it is very true.

I can so relate to the negative self talk that you have referred to. It is so simple to carry on the abuse by negatively talking about ourselves. Then we feel guilty for treating ourselves that way. I want you to know that positive self talk is important. Also, what helped me a lot was to give myself some slack. In other words, I said to myself, in essence, "You have been abused; it is natural for you to talk abusively to yourself. I forgive you [me]. But let's try to talk positively to myself. What is something positive about myself?" Then I spent much time reviewing positive and good things that I have done. The Spirit has helped me to see the good within myself. When I was called to be bishop, I went thru a terrible struggle to accept that I could tell other people what to do and delegate to them. I felt so insecure in this. Over time, the Spirit convinced me that I was worthy and that the Lord accepted me and that my ward members accepted me. I must not be the terrible person that I was depicted as in my childhood. Over time, as the Spirit washed over me relentlessly, the pain eroded away; the self abuse wore down; the memories lost their emotional power.

Each of you has had and will have tremendous spiritual experiences; experiences that the "normal" members of the Church do not think are possible. Each of you are fulfilling your mission in life. Self talk these and so many other positive things when you feel the pain and the negativity approaching. These spiritual experiences are always filled with Love, God's love for you. This Love is a powerful force in erasing the pain of abuse.

To fully comprehend that we are children of God is the most powerful weapon against the abuse. I know that this is a very hard thought to comprehend. But I ask and pray that you try to accept it and embrace it.

Love from others who love us for who we are is also a very powerful tool in overcoming abuse. The problem is that abused children often grow up to have abusive relationships. Even so, we can always have a non-abusive relationship with ourselves and with God. As a child, I adopted Heavenly Father as my father. This was my escape. He was my confidant in times of need for acceptance [still is].
So, in summary, over time, as we learn to accept what the Spirit witnesses to us about ourselves, we learn to overcome the lies that were pounded into us as children [adults], as we learn to stop the negative self-talk and fill that void with positive self-talk, we erode the negativity that is our constant state of mind. As we associate with the Spirit, his sanctifying and loving power slowly but most assuredly deletes the scars of abuse from our souls.

One more thing that I have learned is that because of my abuse, I am more aware of certain realities which most people are not-I am more in tune with certain things. This is what led me to "hear" the Spirit more than the average person and to perceive and accept spiritual things more easily than most people. It could be that each of you has had the same experience. Perhaps your escape mechanism was a spiritual tool that has actually benefited you to such a degree that you now find yourselves ahead of the pack in spiritual things.

I hope you find these thoughts helpful. I know it is a very heavy thing to overcome abuse. My prayers are with each of you. I am confident that God and angels are working to help you overcome, and that you will overcome. Perhaps it will help you to know that I was sorely abused as a child and that I have overcome by being on the same path that you are now on [that of living the Gospel]. I send you my sincere love and prayers.

Bishop

Report message to a moderator

[Message index]
 
Read Message
Read Message
Read Message
Read Message
Read Message
Read Message
Read Message
Read Message
Read Message
Read Message
Read Message
Read Message
Read Message
Read Message
Read Message
Read Message
Read Message
Read Message
Previous Topic: Unblogmysoul Reunion Talks
Next Topic: "Truth is the Issue" by F. Enzio Busche
Goto Forum:
  

[ Syndicate this forum (XML) ] [ RSS ] [ PDF ]

Current Time: Wed Feb 19 13:51:29 MST 2025
.:: Contact :: Home ::.

Powered by: FUDforum 3.1.0.
Copyright ©2001-2020 FUDforum Bulletin Board Software