How does the atonement bring healing to those who have been abused?

First, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is ill equipped to deal with this issue.

Sometimes I wonder why HF would place him with me knowing his particular challenges and his personality and knowing my past and the things I would struggle with as a parent from having bad examples for most things.

There are varying kinds of abuse, and varying levels of abuse. Jesus knows them all, and knows how to comfort us. He cannot change us overnight into someone who was never affected by it, but He can guide us on a path to get there. But it does take time.

I want you to know, that the spirit has testified to me and to others I have spoken with - about your greatness - something that you do not seem to realize!