Home » Angels, Demons, Miracles and the like... » First Hand Witnesses of Christ » My First Meeting with Christ (How I gained my Special Witness)
| My First Meeting with Christ [message #737] |
Fri, 27 July 2012 17:17  |
Seeker
Messages: 244
Registered: June 2010
Location: Las Vegas
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Senior Member |
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I am inspired by Kenh who selflessly posted a wonderful, faith promoting experience in which he was visited by Christ. I wanted to share my first visit from Christ.
Shortly after we were married, my wife and I had received our Calling and Election made sure, as detailed HERE.
Contrary to popular belief, life still had its challenges. I was 23 years old, married for a year with a new baby. I had dropped out of college 8 months prior to begin technical certification program as a Cisco Network Engineer, (I highly recommend this path for anyone who is considering it. Best financial decision of my life!). I had completed my training and passed the tests to receive my various technical certifications. I was ready to work. My research prior to leaving college said that I could expect to make $80k/year at this point and yet I was stuck in Provo working for Converges making $12.75/hour as the highest skilled network engineer on my team. I was very knowledgeable in my field and my skills were in demand, I just couldn't seem to get a job. I kept sabotaging myself.
Around that time I went home for Christmas with my family. One night while the whole family and their spouses were sitting in the living room talking, my mother brought out the last shoe box of my stuff which she found hidden in the garage some time earlier. I opened the box and began rummaging through it and pulling out various awards I had earned/won in High School. I pulled out varsity letters, Pins and metals for: Rifle Team, Track, Drama, Wrestling, Choir, Debate, etc. one after the other...
My brother was on my left sitting on the living room floor with me. He saw me pulling out all these various items and became very puzzled and asked, "Where did you get those?" I responded, by holding them up one at a time saying, "This one is for Track, this is for rifle team, ..." Then he interrupted me and said, "No, I mean, you've never finished anything in your life, where did you get THOSE?"
His wife's hand flew fast and hard letting him know he was out of line! But, the sad part is that it also let me know that he was out of line! I might not have realized it had I not seen her reaction. My brother actually saw me this way and he wasn't the only one. Despite all my various successes and achievements, I was never good enough growing up. I was always the black sheep of the family. My brother and sister were tough shoes to follow and they let me know it. I didn't realize it at the time, but I often compared myself to my brother and fell short. In a deep way I felt like I had to compete with him although I did not realize it yet.
This sank in over the next few weeks as my wife and I were trying to figure out why I couldn't get a decent job. We were very inspired in many ways and had a great relationship with the lord. We had already been visited and talked with angels, and my wife had already been visited by the Christ. It seems funny that I couldn't get a revelation on this topic, but I understand why now.
We felt inspired to go to a psychologist and see if he could help me out. I sat up in a comfortable recliner as he asked me to describe the feeling that was holding me back. I really focused inwardly. As I did so, I experienced my first "Guided Imagery" or meditation. I found that the feeling was centered in the center of my chest. As I focused on the feeling I saw in my minds eye a small white rock pot with the lid sealed on it. I knew that whatever my problem was, it was in this pot.
After getting the lid off, I found a rock and understood that my problem was inside this rock. I tried for about 20 minutes to break this thing open with my mind. I conjured up mental hammers, sledge hammers, jack hammers, explosives, etc. Nothing I tried to do could get into this rock. I found looked around for other clues that might help and found that I was in some type of dark room. I couldn't see the walls or anything else that would help me. So I worked on the rock for another 15 minutes before our session was ending.
Just as the session was ending, I gave up trying to get into the rock and figured I would have to come back to try some other thing. In my minds eye, I simply let go of the rock which fell to the floor. When it hit the floor, it broke open. I was surprised. I saw a very thin rolled up piece of paper.
I unrolled the paper and read what it said, "I am a Failure". I was surprised as although I had many outside voices telling me this, I had never consciously accepted it myself. I smiled and excitedly said, "That's it? That's my problem? How absurd. I can take care of that really easily!" I conjured up a match and lit it knowing that as soon as this small paper was burned up, my problem would be gone with it. I touched the lit match to the paper and the paper caught fire instantly. The flame of the paper illuminated the room I was in and for the first time I could see the walls, ceiling and floor.
The room looked like a castle dungeon, awful grey damp rock walls, floor and ceiling. Dirty, moldy and gross. Scrawled on every wall countless times in white paint of various sizes was the word, "Failure". I was surrounded by it. This was my "Holy of Holies", my inner soul, the dwelling place of my spirit.
That was the end on my session, and the awakening to my problem. Over the next week I came to see that this was indeed my problem. I became aware of how this was impacting my life. I realized that this self image had been created during my growing/developing years by those like my brother who were closest to me. I understood that just as it took years to create this problem; it would take years to learn to deal with it. I believed that I could never truly be fixed.
At the end of the week, on a Sunday night I reached the climax of this realization. I realized that I was doomed to a life of failure. It was now a substantiated fact. I sat at our small kitchen table balling like a baby. I was harrowed up not by my own destiny, but by the realization that I was dragging my sweet wife and wonderful child through my issues. It was for them that I cried. I couldn't make them suffer my fate with me. I had just decided to leave them so that they could find a better life than I could provide. I was working out the details in my mind so that they could be physically cared while they found that better life. I hoped and expected my beloved wife to find someone else who would be a better husband and father and provider. I was planning to leave that night...
While crying, I was writing out my goodbye letter. I was telling them how much I loved them and requesting that my wife be sure to tell me daughter how much I loved her. I was really in a bad place and couldn't see any other solution.
I had written almost a whole page of the tear stained letter when in an instant I was taken to an incredible white room. The whole room glowed as if it was the source of light. In the center of the room was an oval platform with 3 tiers/steps. On top of the platform stood Jesus Christ.
He held his arms out toward me. I, still sobbing, walked to him and climbed the steps and collapsed at his feet. He collapsed with me holding me and began crying with me. I have never in my life felt love and acceptance to this magnitude. I could never had before even conceived of such great and unconditional love. I understood that he knew my whole life, all my faults and flaws, challenges and successes and the great failure that I had become. It didn't matter. There was no rebuke or teaching, just loving, understanding and crying with me.
I understood that he cried because I was in pain and he was sad that I was hurting so much. There was no thought of how I was hurting him or what my actions would do to others, only the fact that I was hurting and he was aware of my pain and sorrowed with me for my pain as if it was his pain also.
This went on for about 3 minutes at which time I said to him, "This is wonderful and all, and I appreciate you being here, but nothing has changed. I am still a failure." (All communication was done telepathically, without words.) He lifted up his arm and pointed his finger to a door I had not noticed before. The door opened and I saw the room from my "Guided Imagery" session.
The room was no longer the dirty dungeon I had seen before, it was pure white, clean, smooth and radiant as the room I was in. The walls were like pure white marble which radiated light and love.
I observed that there was no evidence that the dungeon had ever existed. I knew that if I had worked with a counselor to resolve my issues that I would still have scars, or symbolic debris as if I had torn down the dirty walls and put up something in its place. There would always exist evidence of my life as a failure. BUT, here I was looking at a room far beyond what I could have imagined or created myself and there was no evidence that it had ever been different, no scars or imperfections.
I wondered at this and asked, "How is this done?" To which Christ replied, "It was never any different, it has always been so." I understood that what I saw before was like an illusion that was real only because I believed it was real. My faith made it real enough to affect my life.
At that moment I was filled with the most immense joy and gratitude as the comprehension of what this meant filled my mind! I would not have to leave my wife and child! I would be successful and able to provide for them in great abundance. Everything that was holding me back was gone.
Still holding me in his arms, my tears continued to flow, but instantly they became tears of joy, gratitude and excitement. My joy was equal to and as exquisite as was my sorrow.
In a moment I found myself back at the kitchen table looking at the letter I was in the process of writing. Still crying. My wife entered the room from the hall with our baby in her arms. She was completely unaware of what had happened.
I rushed to her and held her still crying and finally was able to compose myself enough to communicate properly after about 10 minutes.
Within the month I had started work at my first professional job in Las Vegas NV. I have had an incredible career and have been able to give my family everything they have desired most especially my time. I recently was able to turn down a 3 year contract for $450-600k/year so that I could work part time remote and be a father and husband. I have a new 4 month old daughter. My first Daughter is now 10 years old.
In closing, I share my personal witness that I know he lives. I have been in his presence and felt of his indescribable love and acceptance. I have been blessed by him. I am no more special nor important than anyone else and have come to know that God is truly no respecter of persons. In the name of my friend, Jesus Christ, amen.
~ Seeker
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