• He is drugged up and in and out of consciousness and so not really open to a good discussion.
  
• He has his immediate family present and they need to say good bye more than we do. So he will spend his time with them anyway.
  
• It will be easier to talk with him after he dies because he will be more coherent and available. This was a conclusion made based on previous experience.
  

Seeker Hey Grandma, how are you doing?
Grandma Not well!
Seeker Really, why?
Grandma I am upset!
Seeker Oh?
Grandma Grandpa remarried and she's a hussy and a "floozy".
Seeker Do you really mean that?
Grandma Well, she not so bad, it's just that I spent a lot of time making sure that my estate was going to be given to my children and posterity and grandpa is messing everything up!
Seeker What do you mean?
Grandma - Well, grandpa is changing everything we did and I really don't like what he's doing! Now I can't stop him!
Seeker Ouch, that really sounds frustrating!
Grandma When he gets here, I'm gonna have words with him. He's got another thing com'n.
Grandma It's my stuff/junk and I want it to go to my kids! If they don't want it, that's their problem, and they can get rid of it themselves, but I want to give it to them! It will mean something to them. That was the arrangement Grandpa and I made and that's what I want to happen!
Grandma I don't know that it'll do much good, But I need you to tell him to stop it!
Seeker Um, you want me to tell him that I spoke with his dead wife and she said don't change the estate plans, your messing everything up? How well do you think that will go over?
Grandma Well, you've got to do something...
Seeker ok, ... How about if I talk to my mom and tell her that you're not happy with changes to the estate that Grandpa is making and ask her if she will find a way to pass the word on to Grandpa. She is there and visiting with him maybe she can find a way to tell him that isn't too uncomfortable or awkward.
Grandma Well, it'll have ta do. Thanks...
(Then grandma went back to worrying and being generally displeased...)

Mom - "Who told you?"
Seeker Grandma did. I hadn't talked with her for so long and with Grandpa dying, I wondered how she was doing and so asked her and she was very focused on what Grandpa was doing with their estate. She also called his new wife a Floozy! :/
Mom Well, let me tell you. We just left the hospital to get some lunch. While at the hospital we found out that Grandpa had called in a lawyer to change the trust that manages their estate. His new wife is old and won't be around very long and he wants the estate to take care of her until she dies. After she dies, everything is supposed to go to Grandma & Grandpa's children.
Seeker Well, that seems to sound like a nice idea, but Grandma is very displeased with the changes that are being made. She said she's "gonna have words with him". Anyway, if you get a chance, could you pass on the message to Grandpa that Grandma isn't pleased? I told her I would tell you and see if you could let Grandpa know.
Mom What am I going to say, "My son was talking to your dead wife and he says that she is really upset with the changes you're making to the trust...
Seeker Yeah. I told Grandma the same thing. Is there a way you can bring it up without sounding crazy?
Mom Well, I will be in some of the discussions as the trust is being changed. I'll see what I can do.