| Re: The Valleys are as Low as the Mountains are High [message #2840 is a reply to message #2026] |
Wed, 06 November 2013 18:33   |
leejae
Messages: 11
Registered: November 2013
Location: USA
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Junior Member |
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I have had dreams like the one above regularly since I was 18 years old. They started during a time when I was in a relationship that I was determined to make celestial. I talked about C&E with my boyfriend all the time, we read scriptures together, and I was intensely focused on the idea that "this was the one." (It ended badly/strangely and I think Satan had role in wiping my efforts out for many years...long story of depression and stuff...not really the point here.)
I have been (in dreams) thrown around rooms, smashed into walls, pinned to ceilings, paralyzed with fear, unable to speak. I had a female(?) entity turn and look at me in hatred and mockery and dive at me from across a room. I would wake up in full-body, excruciating pain from the adrenalin shock, terrified and unable to move. I would say the words I had been told, in my mind or aloud, and pray for the Lord to send "a Nephite" to guard me (my invention). Over the years I began to forcibly train myself to speak words to cast them out in the dreams, despite the paralysis (it's really hard to talk in that situation! I think some of you might actually understand that). I think that I was actually forcing my body to speak aloud, because I started to wake up feeling like I had made an actual sound, which is what brought me out of the dreams. Slowly over the years I have become less afraid. But now, I generally have a moment in my dream where I check "is this a dream? I've had these dreams before..." and then "Nope. It's real this time. This is real finally." It's not, but it is still really awful. Anyway, I now feel more proactive when the stuff starts happening, like I've been trained over time what to do.
I've always wondered if they were real, or just nightmares. I mean - I have figured they must be real in SOME way, but I have a tendency to be really hard on myself, and wondered if I'm just extra scared of some things. Does anyone have any thoughts about this?
Thanks.
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