The human mind is amazing. I have had some interesting experiences; revelations; realizations as I have read and re-read your story. Days ago, when I read your story, I was able to glide right through it with ease, comprehension, and visualization. Today, as I evaluated your request to scrutinize it closely, I started looking at the words and sentence structures, etc. . . . in other words, I started looking at the mechanics and the "letter" of the "law." What I learned was the following:

The name of the chapter is "Conflict Rising." The paradox I realized was that you were requesting a "critique" of your work. I learned that "critique" is a HOT BUTTON liable to cause a conflict to rise . . . (Conflict Rising.) Into my mind came the thought, "Let man be his own judge and critic." Further, emphasis was given, "If you look too closely, you can see the flaws in every man." (I believe that personal expression, such as writing and speaking is a reflection of who we are.) I realized that I had no right to edit or critique, because in so doing I was "making something mine, when it belongs to someone else." It was much more enjoyable to comprehend the "intent" rather than the "means." When things were evaluated at the "letter" or "mechanical" level, I lost the ease, comprehension, and visualization that was so enjoyable, before. The letter of the law in essence killed my enjoyment, whereas the spirit or intent set me free.

I think and feel, Dragon, that it is a great story. It was gratifying to me that the visitor respected the teacher.