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My Testimony of My Marriage [message #1790] Sun, 30 December 2012 14:46 Go to next message
rdwhitaker is currently offline  rdwhitaker
Messages: 118
Registered: December 2012
Location: Vancouver, Washington
Senior Member
I met my wife to be about 10 months before I left on my mission. We had received a number of spiritual promptings that we were to be married. When it came time for me to leave, I told her she did not have to wait for me if she felt strongly about someone else. She promised me she would not marry anyone else while I was on my mission, and we would see how things went when I got back home.

About half way through my mission, I received a letter from her one day in which she mentioned another guy she had been dating fairly regularly. It was about as close to being a "Dear John" letter as it could be without quite saying so. I was upset when I got it and turned to the Lord in prayer, pleading with him to know if she was "the one" and should we get married after my mission?

The feeling I got after praying was one of a rebuke! The Spirit said to me very plainly, "I have already given you the answer to this question a long time ago. Don't worry about it. You are to focus on your missionary labors now!"

Thanks to a strong mother-in-law to be who really liked me, she was able to step in and prevent my wife to be from getting too involved with anyone else until I returned home from my mission.

My wife and I were married about two months after I returned home from my mission. Worst decision of my life! Why I foolishly wasted two whole months is beyond me!

Ryan


Don't . . . Quit . . . Trying!!
The One That Got Away [message #1798 is a reply to message #1790] Sun, 30 December 2012 23:17 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Daryl is currently offline  Daryl
Messages: 67
Registered: December 2012
Location: Mesa, AZ
Member
RD, your story starts out like my story...

Before I left on my mission, I had a girl friend. She meant everything to me. I was absolutely in love with her. We dated for eight months before I left on my mission. When I left I gave hear a diamond 'promise ring' and asked her to please wait for me to come home from my mission before she married.

I took lots of pictures with me on my mission. I thought of her often, but I knew I had work to do. I was having a great time finding people to teach and baptize. Things were going really well for me. I had some wonderful companions.

About ten months into my mission she wrote me a letter telling me she had a boyfriend that was already home from his mission. A month later I received a wedding announcement. They were married and sealed a few months later in the Mesa, AZ temple. I was crushed!
I finished my mission with tremendous success. It was an awesome experience for me. I returned home and started my life. Before I left, my mission president encouraged me to go home and earnestly seek an eternal companion. He encouraged me not to delay my efforts. I tried. Really I tried to find someone as good as her. There was just no way to allow myself to feel anything like I felt for her. In fact, I have been married now for almost fifteen years and no one has touched my life like she has. I still love her.

When I had been home from my mission for about a year, her husband died from a brain tumor. About the same time he died I had an incredible dream that changed the direction of my life. I went to his viewing and offered my condolences to her. The next morning I left for the summer to be a counselor at youth conference. I stayed there for the summer and had a most excellent time.

I returned home and started trying to find my eternal companion. I went to a young adult dance and there she was dancing away in red cowgirl boots. My brain raced as I counted the months back to when her husband died. I guessed it had been five months since he had passed. We danced several times and hit it off well. I have to say that I was in heaven right there in that old cultural hall with the one that got away.

My bishop told me that if I married her that I would risk being a ministering angel for eternity since she was sealed to another man. It freaked me out. I had her back in my life and was so happy. It was difficult trying to be a boyfriend to her and trying to help her grieve for her lost husband at the same time, but I was there for her. We dated for two years while my bishop's words nagged at me. I asked my mom what to do and she said, "You two are meant to be together."

About a year and a half of dating went by and I didn't know what to do. I wanted to marry her so bad, but the thought of not reaching exaltation because a married the wrong person was too much to bear. About that same time, I ran into a friend of mine. We went to grade school, middle school and high school together. We wrote each other while on our missions. It was good to see him again.

While we were catching up, I explained my situation. We talked for quite some time about this. It was then that he reminded me about a dream I had while I was on my mission. I had written him and told him about it.

My dream was quite simple but left me in agony after I had it. I dreamed that her husband would die and that we would get married. It was too much for me to handle on my mission so I guess over time I had made myself forget about this dream.

My friend reminding me of this important dream helped me to get past my fears. After seeing my friend, I spent some time fasting and praying. I received the confirmation that I needed and we were married in the Mesa, Arizona temple. Now I love her more than ever.

This is a very long story to make a few important points. One, the Lord would NEVER withdraw the blessings of exaltation because a man could not be sealed do to the fact that his widowed wife had already been sealed to another man. I know that now. Two, spiritual dreams are for more than just information. They are for action. Follow the spiritual dreams you have been blessed with. Three, listen to your parents. They have wisdom.

I know the Lord wants us to be happy in this life. He answers the desires of our hearts in many ways. Sometimes he blesses us with dreams to help us along our way. We need to follow these dreams and we will be blessed for it.

[Updated on: Sun, 30 December 2012 23:18]

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Re: The One That Got Away [message #1809 is a reply to message #1798] Wed, 02 January 2013 14:26 Go to previous messageGo to next message
rdwhitaker is currently offline  rdwhitaker
Messages: 118
Registered: December 2012
Location: Vancouver, Washington
Senior Member
Fantastic account! You opened up some new understanding for me that the Spirit immediately confirmed. Thank you!

I have sometimes been asked what I think about situations where someone is sealed to one person and later marries and loves another. My answer has always been, Qualify for exaltation and it won't matter then.

Ryan


Don't . . . Quit . . . Trying!!
Re: The One That Got Away [message #1820 is a reply to message #1798] Wed, 02 January 2013 15:59 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Thebruceguy is currently offline  Thebruceguy
Messages: 9
Registered: May 2012
Junior Member
What a beautiful story. I am not sure if you are now sealed to your partner, but I believe it is possible.

I had two friends in the UK who met, fell in love and married. About a year after their marriage, he had an accident and was killed.

She met another man and was married to him and they had children together. He was a convert, and eventually asked why he couldn't be sealed to his own children.

Their story was shared with the 1st Presidency who declared the first sealing annulled and sealed the couple together with the children.
Re: The One That Got Away [message #1823 is a reply to message #1809] Wed, 02 January 2013 16:51 Go to previous messageGo to next message
FreddyV is currently offline  FreddyV
Messages: 50
Registered: December 2012
Member
Daryl,

That truly is amazing. The more I've learned about the Gospel, the more I have come to realize the that ordinances we do here in this life are symbolic only. The only ones that truly count are those that are spiritual and those that are sealed by the Holy Spirit of Promise.

I know a sister who would love to get married, yet the man she wants to marry is afraid to do so for the reasons that your bishop talked about. He feels he might end up a ministering angel. I personally can't see that our Father in Heaven would be so condemning, especially for two people who are pure in heart and in love with each other.

I am often reminded of this quite from Joseph Smith.
"Our heavenly Father is more liberal in His views, and boundless in His mercies and blessings, than we are ready to believe or receive."

Re: My Testimony of My Marriage [message #1878 is a reply to message #1790] Mon, 07 January 2013 10:49 Go to previous messageGo to next message
brrgilbert is currently offline  brrgilbert
Messages: 282
Registered: December 2012
Location: Nampa, Idaho
Senior Member
For those who have been faithful and have married a woman who has before been sealed by the new and everlasting covenant of marriage . . . there is some room for that which you may not have considered, but by which you may rejoice exceedingly:

(Doctrine and Covenants 132:41-44.)

41 And as ye have asked concerning adultery, verily, verily, I say unto you, if a man receiveth a wife in the new and everlasting covenant, and if she be with another man, and I have not appointed unto her by the holy anointing, she hath committed adultery and shall be destroyed.
42 If she be not in the new and everlasting covenant, and she be with another man, she has committed adultery.
43 And if her husband be with another woman, and he was under a vow, he hath broken his vow and hath committed adultery.
44 And if she hath not committed adultery, but is innocent and hath not broken her vow, and she knoweth it, and I reveal it unto you, my servant Joseph, then shall you have power, by the power of my Holy Priesthood, to take her and give her unto him that hath not committed adultery but hath been faithful; for he shall be made ruler over many.


Brethren, based upon the foregoing information, it is my opinion that the blessings are equally given to the women to be in more than one "situation" according to the new and everlasting convenant, and that it is/will not be sinful. We are now given a "Telestial" law which is a forerunner of the "Terrestrial." These things will be and must be dictated by revelation according to verse 44 above. True love makes free, lust imprisons.


"I must endure the presence of a few caterpillars if I wish to become acquainted with the butterflies."

The Little Prince by St. Exupery
Re: My Testimony of My Marriage [message #2003 is a reply to message #1790] Wed, 16 January 2013 14:50 Go to previous message
rdwhitaker is currently offline  rdwhitaker
Messages: 118
Registered: December 2012
Location: Vancouver, Washington
Senior Member
My wife's cousin had quite an experience. Her husband was a counselor in their ward's Elder's quorum presidency. One day her cousin got the distinct impression that she would be married to the Elder's quorum president some day. This embarrassed her to even think about it - they were each happily married with families, sealed to their spouses. Some years later, the Elder's quorum president's wife passed away from cancer. Her cousin's husband went on a trip back east and returned with a sickness that they later felt was Legionnaire's disease. He passed away just a couple of months after coming down with it. Just as she had been impressed, she and the Elder's quorum president did get married! They are each still sealed to their first spouses, and now that they have been married to each other longer than they were to their first spouses, she says it is getting hard to imagine not being with her second husband forever.

Ryan


Don't . . . Quit . . . Trying!!
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