I do feel that there is something yet further that I am needing to receive,

and the Lord is getting a bit impatient with me (or perhaps I am getting impatient with myself) to step forward and fully accept what I have been given.

And it appears that for a time, the heavens have withdrawn - I am having a very difficult time with my prayers - I can;t help but feel that the Lord is displeased with me. I feel that I am "doing it wrong" and that I need him to come take me by the hand and guide me step by step in what I need to do next.

"My son, my son, thou art my son and thou will be blessed!"

I do feel that for now I just need to be patient, humble myself, fast, pray, and things will come at the time intended. I am sorry, Lord, for my weakness.