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Re: A lifetime of miracles, still waiting for C&E [message #1327 is a reply to message #1326] Fri, 26 October 2012 09:15 Go to previous messageGo to previous message
Denryu is currently offline  Denryu
Messages: 88
Registered: July 2012
Location: American Fork
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Jules, Ashley,

Jules, it is funny that you mentioned about the "Yes" and "No" answers. the other night when I struggled that is all I was getting, which was unusual. What I am struggling with, the unbelief, is often when I have have heard a voice in my head, it was very clear to me that it was not something that was coming from me - but sometimes, like the other night, it is hard to distinguish if it is me having a conversation with myself or if it is from above.

And I know the cause of that and how to correct it - fasting and further prayer. I get those kinds of unclear messages when I ask but haven;t sufficiently prepared myself.

I also think that I need to be more gratedful for what I have received. I hope/expect so much, i.e. receiving the 2nd Comforter, I want the vision of the earth's history from beginning to end (including the portions that Nephi and others could not share) I want to know what the Lord wants of me and how I can best serve him through the remainder of my life - and hearing what others have said it simply doesn;t work that way. Denver talks a lot about still needing to go to work, provide for your family, etc. and others have mentioned that it doesn;t make you perfect and you still have to struggle with the natural man - I remember specifically Nephi's complaint in that regard.

My question for both of you, and anyone else that can answer, is what was the biggest change that you had when you accepted the gift? What removed the doubt from your mind so that you were able to believe? It is one thing to say "don't doubt", but sometimes easier said than done.

I do know that God lives - I have been given too many evidences to be able to deny that. And I also know that He loves me - again, same as above. But I do not know yet what He desires for me and from me. I stand ready to do whatever is asked of me, in fact I am excited and know that filling that "calling" will be the greatest joy of my life so far.

And again, perhaps I am waiting for what I have already received, because the spirit whispers to me that the calling is simply to be ready at all times and places to simply do as I am told - that perhaps it isn't a life plan laid out before me so much as a willingness to simply do in any given mooment what is told me in that moment to do. In fact, just now as I was typing this I got an impression of some scripture to the effect that it will not be given to you in advance but will be given to you in the moment - that's not it exactly, I will have to look for that scripture.

Thanks to you both again for being so supportive, and to Amonhi for his posts that helped me on this path as well as Dragon and others for your fellowship.

Libertas optimas rarem, nunquam servili sub nexu.
"There is no gift like Liberty, therefore never live under slavery."

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