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Home » Angels, Demons, Miracles and the like... » Miracles » A lifetime of miracles, still waiting for C&E
Re: A lifetime of miracles, still waiting for C&E [message #1309 is a reply to message #1304] Thu, 25 October 2012 00:42 Go to previous messageGo to previous message
Denryu is currently offline  Denryu
Messages: 88
Registered: July 2012
Location: American Fork
Member
I've had some interesting struggles with the spirit tonight. One thing I am being told is a shortcomng is my lack of compassion. I don;t have it in me, yet, to pray for my enemies. At some of my low times, I don;t even wish my friends particularly well - not bad either, but let's just say my circle of light narrows down to me and those very closest to me and not much farther.

I do have some high points where I have great and marvelous experiences, but the impression I am getting is that I am still too unsteady or unreliable - I do have great moments of insight where I "get it" and I am blessed greatly but then I proceed to fall into error (is that what is meant by not receiving the gift, I wonder?)

I'm learning but I'm not living. I UNDERSTAND SO MUCH, but it is still theory, I am not experiencing it as it is intended.

For instance, I get that the temple endowment is simply a warm up, and I understand what the REAL endowment is (I think, and am pretty sure) but I still haven't received it! I want it! The spiritual ears are open and can hear, but the spiritual eyes are NOT opening and I don't know how to get them open!

Maybe I need to be consistently on a higher plane rather than ascending to a certain point, plateau, and then dropping again(?) I don't know that seems to be it.


Libertas optimas rarem, nunquam servili sub nexu.
"There is no gift like Liberty, therefore never live under slavery."
 
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